Jun 13 2008
One of those weeks
As I type the title for this post I take pause. Can I really say that this has been “one of those weeks”? The implication is that this week has been somehow worse than other weeks. And while it has been a doozie, I’m not sure if it qualifies as particularly worse than most weeks. When I look back and take stock of the many weeks that have passed in recent months quite a few – most even – could qualify as “one of those weeks”. It sounds terrible when I admit this, but truth being good for the soul, I guess it’s liberating to be open about it. Maybe taking a look at this stark reality will lead to change that is desperately needed.
But yes – this week. What a week it was. Much of my time was spent at the hospital with my oldest daughter dealing with one heck of a nasty cut on the bottom of her foot. (Most of that time spent in horribly uncomfortable waiting room chairs. Seriously – I wouldn’t mind long waits if they didn’t hurt so dang badly. My poor fibromyalgia self was in agony. Plastic feel remarkably like concrete when it is under one’s tush for too long!) The cut as it turns out was not just a cut, but the doorway in which a large piece of wood gained entry into her foot. Say it with me – trying not to cringe too badly – OUCH!!!! I’ll spare you the play by play but the short version is 4 trips to the Minor Injuries Unit, 1 trip to x-ray, and 2 games of hardball with hospital staff (who refused to believe there was anything in her foot), way too much pain suffered on the part of my daughter, and finally last night after a round of local anesthesia and a few choice incisions – out comes a massive chunk of wood. Over 2 centimeters long and 1/2 centimeter wide! Nothing in her foot… yeah, right. There was at least one doctor and nurse in town feasting on a big old plate of crow last night. I’m happy to report that already today my daughter can walk on her foot with considerably less pain (given there is no longer a plank inside it) and we are all relieved that barring any unforeseen complications this episode can begin to be put behind us. Any thoughts for speedy healing of what is now just a nice big nasty cut that you could send her way would be welcome and appreciated.
Of course, as happens with us fibromites, all the stress and physical strain from the above ordeal has led to a very bad flare of my pain and fatigue as thick as it gets. My eldest summed it up quite nicely when she told me yesterday, “You look like road kill mom.” Only road kill has it easy. Road kill, I presume, is no longer feeling pain having departed this life. You know you have it bad when you envy road kill. yikes.
It’s times like these that make being a mom with a chronic illness really hard. Parenting on it’s own is a hard job. Its an exhausting job. Painful even with the mishaps brought on by rambunctious little ones, and painful in the sense that one can feel pain of the soul and emotions (and lets not forget the pain of birth!). But with a chronic illness those hard,exhausting and painful times have potential to turn into debilitating times. A few hard or stressful days can set you back for weeks. A few hard or stressful weeks can turn into months of setback. Which brings me back to the beginning of this post and my revelation that this week isn’t an isolated occurrence. With a chronic illness all weeks have potential to be “one of those weeks”. We operate from a different baseline, a normal that isn’t what others consider normal. All of my children have had to adjust their expectations according to how I am feeling. They are used to mom not being able to make it to school events, they are used to tip-toeing around the house when I am getting some much needed rest. They know that their home life is very different than that of their friends. Myy littlest, her eyes filled with concern and worry, knows when to ask if she hugged me too hard because she knows that on bad days even her gentle touch can hurt. Its not always easy on them, but they manage. We all manage it seems. Some days better than others. I think we managed fairly well this week, all things considered. In many ways it was better than last week which on the surface appeared to be an easier week, but that underneath was full or turmoil. Maybe that is what I meant when I gave this post its title. “One of those weeks” that despite all odds against it, we found our way through it. Perhaps it wasn’t so bad after all.
