Divinely Crafty

dylan earrings2

Originally uploaded by Divinely Crafty

The weeks leading up to Christmas this year were marked by one of the worst flares to date in all the years I have lived with fibromylagia.

Normally the holidays are a time of busy crafting and creating. I have always loved attending to the details that make holidays special times. Not always showy or grand, but always with heart.

This year was no exception I am glad to be able to say. I had picked up a good bit of beads and jewelry making supplies when we were in Barcelona with intentions of making more felt / glass bead pieces. I had only used a few as originally planned, and with the addition of some lovely beads my sweet Anna brought me from her time in India this summer, I had a brilliant collection to choose from for little holiday treats.

Pictured above is a pair made for my oldest daughter,Dylan. Gorgeous Indian glass rounds with Chinese medallions. May they bring her good fortune.

Next is for Kiah. A mix of Czech glass and silver. Elegant with an edge, just as she is.

Delicate stones with a touch of sparkle for Anja. Her first pair of dangly earrings. If the grin on her face when she tried them on means anything, it was a special gift for a special young girl!

All three pairs made in a quiet, stress free afternoon. I was able to sit comfortably in my bed with supplies neatly laid out before me thanks to a bit of organization that I confess is actually unusual for me. There is something about scads of tiny glass and stone bits that begs even the most die hard of mess-makers to straighten up and invest in a few fish tackle sorters. Biscuit tins make great storage for tools, wires, and such and the lids double as work surface. Complete with raised edge to prevent an errant bead from rolling off and into the sheets where it would without doubt cause a painful living interpretation of The Princess and The Pea that night.

The earrings were received with delight and I have seen them worn on many occasion. Dylan reports that her mates at school are asking about buying some if I make them to offer. Not sure what I think of that, but it could be fun. I’ll tuck that aside to consider on another day.

For now I am in the process of re-visiting crochet and the quest for the perfect string bag pattern. Wish me luck as I foray into thus avoided territory of SC, Ch St, and a host of abbreviations I have little understanding of! I will report back shortly with progress.

I hope.

Tags: beads, coping, daughters, fibromyalgia, gifts, glass, jewelry, organizing, parenting, simplicity

Instead of writing a nostalgic New Years post taking inventory of the times past, I decided yesterday that I would start the year with a post on New Years Day about making resolutions, improving ourselves and the idea that we must always be striving to make ourselves more of something. About how we pepper our moments of awareness with ’shoulds’ and ’should-nots’. I made a plan that this afternoon I would take time to sit and write a substantial and well thought out post. I even made a quick start last evening and jotted down some thoughts to build on in the post. I was determined to do things differently and get the year off to a good start. So you can imagine my disappointment when I woke up this morning to full blown pain flare and fog in my brain as thick as the fog rolling along the pastures out my bedroom window (which, for your reference, was dense and heavy as it often is on cold English mornings). My first course of action was to psych myself up in order to push through with whatever energy and will I could muster. I gave myself one heck of a pep talk. Starting the year off right and all that. Because I should.

I sat at my computer with inspiring music playing, pillows to support my sore back and settled in to just do it. And I couldn’t do it. My bones ached and my thoughts mushed around in my head. Not today. This is not the day on which I will write deep thoughts about anything. It is a day, nonetheless, that I have the opportunity do things differently than I have in the past. Instead of rebuking myself for not pushing through at any cost, or pitying myself for being at the mercy of the whims of fibromyalgia’s sufferings I am surrendering with strength and grace to that which is here now. And with strength I am writing this brief hello and then will retire to my bed where I will spend the rest of the day with a cup of tea and a few select choices on the BBC iPlayer.

Happy New Year to you all, and may it hold much creativity and coping. And may we find love for all that we are, even in the messes we make.

Tags: coping, fibromyalgia, pain, self improvement

In my many attempts to find peace, if not relief from the pain and fatigue that comes with having fibromyalgia I have started doing some self hypnosis. I started out with a little bit of general relaxation and motivation boosting with an audio recording I downloaded for my ipod. I did this in total secrecy. I didn’t want anyone to know what I was trying for fear of yet another dissapointment. It is hard enough to be let down myself, but seeing hope being dashed in those closest to me is what is truly devastating. So each day after the house was empty from the morning rush around and everyone was off doing their day, off to my room I would go - ipod in hand and earphones in place - for my secret journey into hypnosis. After a few days I began to think that maybe I might be onto something. I felt more grounded and calm than I have in such a long time. I have always done the “stop, pause, breath deeply” method of handling stress and feeling overwhelmed, with I admit, less than effective results. But with the hypnosis something has changed. My breath began to feel more complete, more relaxing, more free. It sounds strange, but until now it has been almost like my deep breathing was forced and even stressful in its own way. But its different now.

With my small but exciting shift that has come from the hypnosis, I decided to “confess” to my husband about what I was doing and branch out into seeing if maybe this hypnosis stuff could help me with my sleep. Trying anything for sleep is terrifying to me. I have tried it all - herbs, sleeping tablets, breathing, meditation, relaxation tapes…. all of it. I have been able to get to sleep but staying asleep has never been achieved. Part of the fibromyalgia profile is that you don’t go into the restorative sleep that happens after dream sleep. For me, I would occasionally get deep enough to have a dream (on sleeping tablets or herbs - very rarely on my own) but would wake up and have to start all over again. It was not unusual to have a night when I would see every hour on the clock. With the average of 20 minutes to get back to sleep it doesn’t take a genious to figure out I was not getting enough sleep period, nevermind good quality sleep. Daring to hope that hypnosis might help was scary. I wasn’t sure I could take another let down if it didn’t work. Yet with the small but significant success with the other hypnosis I decided to give it a go.

The first night - nothing was very different. I tried not to be too discouraged, and kept on with it. Within a few nights I realized one morning that I could not recall waking up the night before. hmmm…..veddy interesting…. A few more nights and yes - there was definate change. Again, very subtle but encouraging. I told my husband one day in a whispered hush (for fear that saying it aloud would jinx it) that I think I slept the night before. I felt like a kid telling their confidant that they got away with stealing a cookie. A guilty pleasurable secret. Though I was still not fully convinced. I didn’t do my hypnosis a couple of nights this week for one reason or another and I was delighted to find that I was MISERABLE the next day. Never has feeling like such crap been so joyful. It seemed like I may have been proving my success by showing how different it was to skip it.

Last night I went back to the sleep hypnosis before bed. I drifted off quickly but awoke when Axel came home from a night at the pub with friends. I managed to get back to sleep easily enough and next thing I know………..its morning!!! And I feel freakin’ FABULOUS! There is this incredible energy flowing up my spine and I feel like there is a spark in my step. I got sleep. Good sleep. Not just pass out from exhaustion sleep, but fill up the tank sleep. The greatest gift ever.

Only time will tell if this experiment in hypnosis will have lasting effect, but for today I am so hopeful. The hypnosis is part of a 3-fold strategy towards healing that I have been brewing in my head. The other 2 are yet to be tested and I will not reveal what they are until I have done my trial with them. I am going very slowly and introducing one at a time, measuring change with each one before I go on to the next. I have spent so many years seeking out answers from experts and not listening to the most expert of experts on what will help me - ME. silly me.

Tags: coping, fibromyalgia, hypnosis, sleep

I have very few needs. (I want plenty, but need little.) Sunlight and warmth are needs.

England in Winter provides neither.

I languish in the gray and wish………..

Tags: coping, fibromyalgia, pain